Grammas Scrapbook

“What cannot be cured must be endured.”  The first time that I heard those words were from my husband’s 90 something grandmother.  Being young allows one to be naive and optimistic, even under the worst of circumstances.  This was my first experience with being consoled about how to face cancer.  It was not my cancer but that of my 32 year old husband.  It was in 1961 that he began thhe futile fight to “beat” Lymphoma.  Many experimental treatments were tried, one of which was called nitrogen mustard which seemed to be the precursor for chemo.  But it did not work.  I was told on Christmas day that my husband was terminal.  Even then, I thought that the medical staff was wrong; he was so young, and a new father, with a second baby on the way.  In April of 1963, he died.  In June, our second beautiful daughter was born.  That was the same year that John Fitzgerald Kennedy was assassinated;  I had such empathy and respect for his brave wife when she had to bear her grief before the world.  I knew that she was much stronger than I.  I now know that, no matter who you are or how old you are, you do what you have to do, whether it is in private or before the world.  Since that first experience, I have had more experience with the disease, and know that sometimes one can be cured, and sometimes one can’t.

”What does not kill you makes you stronger” is another adage that is repeated often when facing critical times in life.  That may very well be true.  I have seen many people mature far past their age in years when faced with daily trials of trying to survive, or helping a loved one struggle to survive.  In 1968 or 1969, my father was diagnosed with throat cancer, had surgery, developed a staff infection, suffered many treatments and more surgeries for 5 years.  He died in 1972 at age 53.  He once told me that if he had known all that he had to go through and all that he would put his family through, he would never have started the treatments in the first place.  However, he did what most of us would do…try to get well!   The treatments that were available then were just not enough.  People can survive the same kind of cancer today with the right kind of treatment.

The third family member to receive a cancer diagnosis was two years ago, when my youngest daughter, Melanie  (the one who was born six weeks after her father’s death}, was diagnosed with breast cancer.  She is only 46 years old.  She had surgery, chemo, and radiation, and is cancer free.   We pray that she continues to be free of the disease for the remainder of her very long life.  She handled the situation beautifully.  She endured the treatments, which she had on Fridays.  Then she was back at work as a teacher  on Monday, every week.    She had all the severe side effects from the chemo and overcame it all.  She has the same  wonderful, optimistic attitude that she has always had and seems to see the world and her surroundings in a more mature, relaxed way.  Thank God for her survival and continued good health.  More current information is that it was five years in March of 2015 since she was declared cancer free.  YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In November, 2012, my brother, Bob, was diagnosed with lung cancer.  He has had successful robotic surgery to remove a lobe of his right lung.  The day he was being dismissed from the hospital, he was dressed to go, felt tired and hot, sat down and had a stroke.  He is recuperating slowly from that, and is in the middle of 12 treatments of chemo.  It takes a full 15 weeks to go through the cycle–chemo one day a week for 3 weeks, then one day off.  He is doing well.  The chemo, of course, takes its toll, causing uncomfortable and unexpected side effects.  He is very brave, and we are all looking forward to his being cancer free, too.  (Today is April 4, 2015.)  After the  chemo treatments, the doctors told us that Bob’s cancer had not been helped by the treatments.  They offered a chemo pill, which he took, once again suffering terrible side effects.  The pill did not help either.  Doctors offered further treatment, but by this time Bob felt that he needed to live whatever time he had left to the fullest.  He declined further treatments.  He died on January 25, 2014.

In January, 2013, my husband, Don, was diagnosed with prostate cancer.  He is currently in receiving radiation for the disease.  He will be taking 42 treatments.  To date, he lacks 33.  He goes every day (except weekends) for 42 days straight.  The entire family is looking forward to seeing Bob and Don finished with treatments, and healthy again.  Don finished all of his treatments, which lasted for 2 years and is cancer free.  He sees his doctors that were involved with his prostate cancer for follow-ups regularly.